September 4th, 2012 | By Stephen Fournier
There is something rather terrifying about a washing machine. There’s the way it rattles ominously when you draw near it; the way it devours your left socks during every cycle so that you are always left with only rights; and then there is that evil water puddle of doom that spreads outwards from it attempting to trip you every time you want to free your clothing from its malicious maw.
But sometimes there are good washing machines as well, sent to combat the evil of the land and drive back the pillaging of the left socks by its evil brethren. This noble machine is known only as the Knightwasher, a machine that has returned from itself death to redeem himself of his past failures or die trying. This is the Legend of the Knightwasher, a story only told by a man of two names; Mirko Koponen and as his alias, Detocroix the developer.
Like any good legend, Detocroix has filled this tale with a vast world to explore, full of royalwashers, futile banditwashers, and even an EVIL Darkwasher that killed the previous king and rules over the land. To defeat the Darkwasher and his mechanical army after returning from death’s domain, the Knightwasher must gather weapons of justice and allies from among both the living and the dead if he is to survive. Only then will he be able to reclaim his honor by fighting the corrupt king and save the oppressed washers of his fair land.
To aid the noble Knightwasher on his quest you can follow Detocroix on either his parchment diary, carrier bird chirps, or upon the Greenlight of the Steam kingdom. There is also an epic poem of metal and wood that awaits any that venture to these sites, a lyrical entry to the Knightwasher’s life that will be recited for eons to come.